How Apple and Microsoft both blew their new product launch speeches… full of hot air (and how you can learn from their mistakes)

As you may have heard, Steve Jobs (co-founder of Apple) and Steve Ballmer (Microsoft CEO) both recently launched massive new products – respectively, the iPad and Windows 7.

Both men are known for their brilliance and leadership at the helm of two of the most successful corporations in the world.

Both men gave keynote introductory speeches.

Both men have received criticism for their epic monologues.

Here is a hilarious edited version of Jobs’ speech – which should give you a sense of the slightly inflated opinion he may have of his product. It’s great to show passion, but not everyone can get away with this!

You can also check out the transcript of Ballmer’s more convoluted speech, complete with an excellent play-by-play critique.

My first observation was that (Ballmer) refers to his audience as users, PCs, developers, and beta-testers. He could have called them all robots; none of those terms are very human. Next I noticed how much of the speech is allocated to conveying that that very same community built–or rather, fixed–the OS. He made it sound like they’re all building a camel instead of a visionary or revolutionary product…

Whether you are giving a televised speech, a elevator pitch, or writing for your website, here are 5 quick tips to remember when talking about your own business:

  1. Keep it short and simple. Get to the point and don’t use unnecessary phrases or jargon!
  2. Use descriptive and specific words. Take it easy on the superlatives such as “great, awesome.”
  3. Be organized and relevant. Know the statistics that are relevant to your market and reference them – sparingly.
  4. Support your claims with information! Why are you the best? How are you the cheapest or the ‘greenest’?

Beware flowery or colloquial language. There is nothing more embarrassing than misused words when attempting to sound intelligent.

To your success and eloquence!